This is a work of embellished non-fiction. These events may or may not have happened at your conference. Situations, characters, and incidents are not entirely products of the author’s imagination, as they have happened at some conference or another. Therefore, if you believe you share any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, it may or not be entirely coincidental.
7 Embarrassing Things You Can Do At Your Next Conference
- When a fellow attendee introduces herself at the conference, complete her sentence about where she’s from, what she studied in school or where her last job was because you studied her LinkedIn profile before arriving.
- Act as the group leader on a hiking trail, before discovering your sense of direction has brought you into a neighborhood full of houses rather than the hiking trail you promised you mapped on your iPad 100x.
- Wander over to a banquet dinner and pile your plate with your favorite entrees, only to realize it’s another group’s private dinner. Then it’s always the awkward limbo, do you take the plated meal at that point or leave it right there?
- Attend your general session meeting and introduce yourself along with the other attendees. Participate in the team-building session until you realize the instructor keeps mentioning sales training, when you came for a conference on gastroenterology. Your options are quietly step out for a break, search for your conference and dodge this group around property for the rest of the week or loudly announce you’re sorry and in the wrong place?
- While walking to your guest room, you and a fellow attendee discuss holiday gifts and shopping lists. During a discussion on your new Snuggie, you look over when another attendee walks past you. You turn around to notice your colleague has stopped earlier in the hall to enter their guest room and has left you talking to yourself.
- Check-in on Foursquare with colleagues when you arrive at a conference by saying, “Can’t wait to stay the night for this conference.” It’s later when you realize it appears to your 5,000+ Twitter followers that you’re having relations when it posted as, Can’t wait to stay the night for this conference (w/ @MrMaleColleague)
- Practice being a good Samaritan by offering to bring in some of your colleagues bags while she checks the two of you into the hotel. You stop to use the restroom, but keep her small carry-on to close to the edge of the sink; you must use the nearest bathroom tools to scoop it out from the “bowl” it’s